I am a mother that tends to forget a lot! Most days I will start the process to take out the trash and then I end up doing the laundry only to come back to the trash and remember that it needs to go out. I can’t even get my kids names right (and I only have two kids)
However, there are things I wish someone would have told me to remember from the very beginning. I decided to make a list to pass on the advice for all new and experienced mothers.
1. Take more pictures
It is so easy to be wrapped up in the moment of the everyday that we as mothers forget that this time is temporary. They do grow up. (sometimes not fast enough) We need to enjoy the days we have and take pictures to remember them how they are now. I promise you in a year you will be regretting not taking pictures. It is true time does fly by.
I would especially recommend making yearly family books. I use Shutterfly to make baby books for their first year and then I do yearly family books after that. Now I am not creative and terrible at taking pictures. But I love looking back at the pictures with them and telling them about each story that picture tells.
2. Enjoy the little moments
Things will be messy. (by messy I mean pure chaos!) It will be so easy to wish for them to grow out of the teething phase then the terrible two phases (which lasts for years!). There is always something that needs to be done. Whether it is laundry, dishes, or cleaning, you need to slow down. Take some time everyday just to enjoy your children. Spend time with them. PLAY WITH THEM and just be there. Enjoy these moments because they will not last.
3. Take Personal time
I never knew the importance of self care before I became a mother. People around me would tell me to make sure and take some personal time. I thought that was weird I wanted to spend every minute with my husband and new baby. Let me tell you now, they were right. Now that I have a 4 year old and a two year old my life gets crazy. I also babysit my nephews and niece on a daily basis.
When everything is in chaos, kids are running around, diapers needs to be changed, trash needs to go out, dishes need to be done, and kids need to go to school. It is very easy for us to lose ourselves in the routine. After a while you begin to feel over it. I will look fondly back on my days when I had no children. Things were so easy back then.
So how can we maintain ourselves? Find time for you! I don’t care when or what you do. As long as you love it and it help you rejuvenate. You and your health are more important then the millions of tasks that need to be done. If you are not healthy then you will lose your desire to be a mother then your children and family will suffer.
4. Remember your spouse
When you are responsible for a helpless infant you pour your heart and soul into caring for their every need. But by doing so you are forgetting the needs of your relationship. I have seen so many relationships fail because they become all about the kids and then the kids grow up. They move out and you are left with someone you don’t know anymore. If you are not growing together then you are slowly growing apart.
How can you avoid this? Take time for each other. Kids go to bed and then you have time with each other. My husband and I try to take time to cuddle and watch TV just to relax. Also take one day a week or at least twice a month go on a date! Nothing refreshes you more than getting out of the house and remembering why you are with them. Remembering who you are as an individual and a couple.
5. Ask for help
If you are a first-time mother, you may not know it yet but there are going to be days that you lose your mind. Today was one of those days for me. I neglected the dishes and cleaning. I blocked off the stairs and just took a day off. (lets me honest a day off for a mom does not mean what it used to.) Now this means I still took care of my kids, but it was survival day.
You will encounter days like this as well. The best thing you can do for yourself and your kids is to have a support system. Just someone or people that can give you a break. Maybe it’s your mom that just comes over to watch the kids for a couple hours. Do not be afraid to ask your people for help.
We all need help and children can be very demanding! You do not have to do this alone. In fact, it is better for your kids to have a happy sane mommy instead of an overwhelmed stressed out mess screaming at them.
Mothers are overworked and under paid. We get the least amount of credit and yet we do it willingly. We even love it! I know we all secretly miss the days when we weren’t mothers. But we love being mothers now we just need help to handle the daily chaos in our homes. Remember these 5 tips to help you be a better mother for yourself, your spouse, and your children. Being a mother is not all about the kids. Do not lose yourself, your spouse, or your memories of these days. I can promise you that one day you will look back on these days and miss them like you miss your childless days then you will wish you could do it again.