What to do When you Feel like a Failure?
Failure is nothing more then fear. Fear that you are not who you want to be. When you fail to achieve your goals then you feel like a failure. As a mother the constant feeling of failure feels like a normal part of life. Since everyone has an opinion and everyone tells you when you are doing something wrong. Breastfeed or bottle feed. Work or don’t work. It seems like everyone is ready to tell you that you are doing things wrong. This brings about feelings of failure.
How can we combat the feelings of failure? How can we live happier with our efforts, ourselves, and our lives? We all know that our feelings effect our actions and our actions effect the development of our children. So how can we feel better for them?
What is Faith?
The opposite of fear and failure is faith. Faith does not always have to be religious. You can have faith in yourself, in your marriage, in your children, in a bigger plan, or even in the fact that things will get better. Faith is the concept that combats failure. Faith is not a perfect knowledge of things but hope in something that you cannot see.
My faith in my God gives me hope. It gives me a feeling of a larger purpose and a feeling that I am loved. My faith keeps me going when I have seen nothing but failure.
This is why I feel like a failure, my husband is unemployed, we have been living with my parents for a couple of years while he went to nursing school and now no one wants him because he has no experience. We are running out of money, we moved across the country to live by family and be in a better environment for my children. I have started a blog and I have seen nothing by failure in the last 6 months.
Why do I keep going? Because I have faith in tomorrow. I have faith that everything will work out in the end. I have faith in my God. This does not mean you have to have faith in God to fight against your feelings of failure. Only a faith in something that will keep you going.
How to have faith?
Find the one thing you can have hope in. I hope that God loves me and so I have faith that he does. Find your purpose and your why.
Find your why! print out and fill in the questionnaire below
Did you see a common theme in your answers? This is your why. This is you purpose for fighting through the negative thoughts of failure that only hold you back from achieve the life you want. Hold on to your why. My why is for my husband. This may seem odd to you but when I feel like I want to give up I think about my love for him and how unhappy I would be without him then it gives me enough strength to handle the tantrums. It gives me a power that helps me do what I know he would want me to do. My husband is my strength and he is the one that holds me up when things get hard. This is a why.
The science of faith
Why should we have faith? What does it actually do for us?
The best book I have ever read came from a man who suffered more then I can imagine. This man was a Psychologist and a Jew during WWII. He was thrown into a Ghetto and then a concentration camp, he saw others fade away until they were empty shells with no reason to live then explains that the only way for men to face extreme situations and survive them is if they find their why. This is a wonderful book and you can purchase it on amazon.
“But what might help many people’s mental health is finding some kind of meaning in their lives, a reason for getting through this day and the next, especially this dark, cold, uninspiring time of year.” Mental Health and Faith
There was a study done in Canada and the United States who surveyed 3,489 adults between the ages of 32 and 84. Adults who reported a greater sense of purpose in life scored higher on tests of memory and executive functioning.
However, Superior cognitive functioning is not the only thing linked to high purpose in life. A study of 2,157 military veterans showed that a stronger sense of purpose in life tended to lead to more resilience.
There was Another study, of 6,840 teachers in Guangzhou, China, found similar results showing a possible link between purpose in life and resilience to stress. The teachers with more sense of purpose in life had better self-reported health. The teachers with a greater sense of purpose were better at managing stress, which led them to report higher levels of health.
As you can see, a stronger sense of purpose, your faith in that purpose can help you manage stress better. So, when the feelings of failure begin to arise you can combat them with your faith. Find your purpose and build your faith in that purpose to help yourself, your relationship, and your family. This is possible if you find your why.